Obit: Mom who died in childbirth known for kindness, uplifting spirit

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Amber Lynn Miller, Dec. 3, 1989 — Jan. 7, 2025

Amber Lynn Miller never got to hold her newborn daughter.

Her pregnancy was difficult, but she was excited about growing her family. She wanted a sibling for her five-year-old, Harper, so the two sisters would always have someone to count on.

Miller, 35, died Jan. 7 in Leamington after giving birth to her second daughter, Amya, during an emergency C-section forced by unexpected complications.

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“I never thought I’d be a dad to two beautiful girls and do this without Amber,” partner Joe Ouellette, 33, who lovingly calls her BerLynn, told the Star.

“She shouldn’t have gone. Life shouldn’t be like this. If this has taught me anything, it’s just love each other. Don’t forget to say, ‘I love you’ at night, because the morning might not be there.”

The people who love Amber Miller knew her as many things: passionate, kind and generous. She loved camping under the stars. She loved animals. She loved helping anyone who didn’t get a fair shake.

But more than anything, she loved Ouellette and their two little girls, including the one she never met.

“She was always uplifting,” said Cynthia Polney, who saw Miller as a daughter as much as a friend. “From the very beginning you could just feel that she was a good soul, a good person.”

They bonded over feral cats.

“I run my own trap-neuter-return and rescue of feral cats,” said Polney. “She reached out to me to see if I needed help.”

Ouellette said Miller lived her life looking daily for ways to help make the world a better place. She rescued orphaned fawns and stopped to assist people on the side of the road.

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The couple met after an extended online courtship. Admittedly, it was pretty one-sided.

“It took me six or seven months to convince her to actually talk to me,” said Ouellette, who lives in Wheatley.

They finally met on April 16, 2015. The nature lovers had their first date at Point Pelee National Park.

They strolled amongst the sycamores and wildflowers, gazed at the soaring eagles, and fell in love.

“Three days later, I was like, ‘Hey, I think I want you,’” said Ouellette. “I want you to be my wife. I want you to spend the rest of life with me. I want to have kids with you.”

A month later, they were living together.

“Pretty crazy, I know,” said Ouellette.

There are so many things he loved about her. Her kindred passion for the outdoors. Her kindness. Her electric smile. Her hypnotic hazel eyes.

“I used to stare at her pictures for hours,” said Ouellette. “I was only 23 at the time. Young pup stuff, I guess.”

Harper came along on July 2, 2019.

“She was an amazing mom,” said Polney. “She doted over that little girl. She kept referring to her as her best friend. They were attached at the hip.”

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After growing up cherishing the sibling bond she had with her two brothers, Miller wanted to continue that with her own family.

“We were trying to build a family structure,” said Ouellette. “Family just meant so much to her.”

Ouellette, a truck driver, was in Quebec nine months ago when Miller sent a message asking him to call her.

“I video-called her,” he said. “When she picked up the phone, the first thing I see in the video is a positive test. We were really excited.”

But there were hurdles that not even love and elation could overcome.

“We actually started out with twins, we found out,” said Ouellette. “We lost one.”

They initially thought both babies were lost. Miller landed back at the hospital after continuing complications.

“They ended up finding the little baby, just hiding,” said Ouellette. “Didn’t make itself known. We called her our little angel baby.”

It was a painful pregnancy with ongoing “high-risk complications.”

“She kept pushing through,” said Ouellette. “She did everything she could to make sure this baby and her would come out in the best possible scenario.”

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On Jan. 7, they awoke around 6 a.m. to get Harper ready for school.

“Amber got up, she said, ‘I think my water broke,’” said Ouellette.

She asked for a change of clothes and went into the bathroom.

Ouellette gathered some clothes from the bedroom, then asked through the bathroom door if he could come in.

“I heard her drop.”

He called out to her.

“Amber. Amber.”

No answer.

Ouellette tried the door. Miller was slumped against it. He wiggled his way into the bathroom and lifted her up. Harper called 911.

“I grabbed her a pillow and blanket,” said Ouellette. “I made her as comfortable as I could.”

Paramedics, unable to stabilize her, slid Miller into the ambulance and sped off. Ouellette called a relative to look after Harper, then rushed to the hospital.

At 7:24 a.m. on Jan. 7, Amya was born by emergency C-section at Erie Shores HealthCare in Leamington.

She entered the world after 36-and-a-half weeks. Five pounds, 10 ounces. Her middle name is Amber.

“When I saw Amya for the first time, I saw Amber,” said Ouellette. “My first daughter, she looked a lot like me. Amya looks like Amber.”

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Amya was healthy, but Miller remained on life support.

“I spent the better half of the day with Amya,” said Ouellette. “I couldn’t be with Amber because Amya needed me. Skin to skin, creating that bond, feeding her.”

“Then I get a call that Harper wants me. She’s scared, doesn’t know what’s going on.”

After bringing her to meet Amya, Ouellette decided to take Harper home. They had stopped off at Peavey Mart when Ouellette’s phone rang around 4 p.m. It was Miller’s brother.

“He was like, ‘Joe, you’ve got to come, you’ve got to come,’” said Ouellette.

He left everything and bolted with Harper. It was a frantic race to the hospital. It wasn’t fast enough.

“She passed away five minutes before we got there,” said Ouellette.

Those loving hazel eyes never set sight on Amya.

“She didn’t deserve this as a mother,” said Ouellette. “She was such a good mom.”

Ouellette said he later learned the scar from Miller’s previous caesarian had ripped open and went undetected as the new pregnancy progressed.

“This world has lost a person that really made it a better place,” he said.

“This is a woman I’m glad I have children with. I had foreseen a lot further future with her. I didn’t think it was going to end like this.”

A friend started a GoFundMe page for the family, to help with necessities including child care and baby items, as they struggle to find footing without the woman who was their foundation.

Cremation has taken place. Memorial visitation is at Reid Funeral Home, 87 Maidstone Ave. E., Essex, on Wednesday, Jan. 22 from 1 p.m. until memorial service at 2 p.m.

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